


Looking back, waiting

by nekosmuse_archive (nekosmuse)



Category: Without a Trace
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:42:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23687122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosmuse/pseuds/nekosmuse_archive
Summary: Written pre 2005. Posting for archival purposes.It was a mistake, mostly.
Relationships: Martin Fitzgerald/Danny Taylor
Kudos: 3





	Looking back, waiting

He can still feel Danny's hands, ghosting over his flesh, fingers pressing hard enough to leave dozens of tiny finger-shaped bruises.

He can sense them; the ones on his shoulder blades, the ones on his hips, several more he hasn't seen, but knows are there. Constant reminders and Martin finds himself adjusting the collar on his shirt for third time in as many minutes.

Danny isn't in yet.

Martin still hasn't figured out what he's going to do when Danny does get in. And it's not that he feels guilty for leaving, he doesn't, but he does feel guilty for letting it happen in the first place. Because it shouldn't have happened. He'd been so careful; years of avoiding Danny's constant flirting and constant touching, all tossed aside like they hadn't been the most painful years of Martin's life. And for what; Danny's breath against the back of his neck, or the feel of Danny's door behind his back when Danny kissed him for the first time, or the soft flash in Danny's eyes when he led Martin down his hall and into his bed.

Or that first stretch of Danny pressing inside, so slowly Martin was certain he might just die before Danny ever let him come.

But he's not thinking about that.

He's not thinking about Danny or soft fingers or long, slow kisses that curled his toes and rattled his teeth. He's not thinking about Danny moving above him, rocking into him until they were both flushed, panting, coming. He's not thinking about any of it, because it was a mistake. A mistake, pure and simple and....

"Morning."

A very big mistake.

"Um..." Martin manages, wanting to be anywhere but here and of course Danny wouldn't make this easy.

"I brought you coffee," Danny interrupts, smiling that soft smile that Martin saw for the first time last night and it's almost enough to break his resolve.

Not quite, though, because Martin's already been over this. Last night was a mistake and they are not doing this. Because they work together and they're friends and there's probably a whole other list of reasons that Martin's incapable of remembering right now. But even that doesn't matter because he knows they exist and that's enough.

"I picked one up on the way in," Martin replies, his tone strictly professional and when Danny gives Martin his best impression of a wounded puppy, Martin's forced to look away.

Stare down at the floor beneath his feet, focusing on the absent pattern of tiles and scuff marks. It lasts only a minute and then Danny's clearing his throat, the sound resonating through the space between them and Martin finds himself glancing back up.

"Okay," Danny begins, still looking slightly hurt and Martin has to fight to keep from reaching out and touching. "You want to do something after work?" he tries and Martin's not certain if he wants to laugh or cry.

"I can't, I've got plans, I..."

And Jack is suddenly his new favourite person, because before Martin can get out the rest of the words, Jack's calling them to the conference table and the start of a new case.

~*~

He never actually thought he'd be happy to be busy --being busy meant someone was missing and he wouldn't wish that on anyone. But it's distracting, taking his mind off Danny and the subtle looks Danny's been casting him since the conference table this morning. Off the feather light touches against his arms every time he finds himself passing Danny in the hall.

Even now, alone in the office with Danny for the first time since this morning's coffee incident, he's distracted. Too busy running through bank statement and tracing credit card patterns to notice the way Danny keeps straightening his tie. Too preoccupied stringing together leads to notice the way Danny keeps glancing over out of the corner of his eye.

"Martin, I think I've got something."

Too busy ignoring Danny to realize that this could actually be important and when Danny calls Martin's name a second time, Martin chokes on a mouthful of lukewarm coffee and prays Danny doesn't notice the slight flush creeping up his neck.

"Sorry, what was that?" Martin asks, setting his coffee cup down and smoothing invisible wrinkles out of his shirt.

"I said I might have something. Are you okay?"

And now Danny's smiling at him, that smirk that Martin knows all too well and this has to end. Otherwise Martin's not going to be held accountable for his actions and damn Danny for talking him into last night anyway.

"I'm fine, what did you find?" Martin asks, crossing the room to stand beside Danny's desk, keeping a two foot radius between them.

For a moment, Danny just stares at him, eyes searching like given enough time he can actual puzzle out everything that's going on inside Martin's head. It makes Martin squirm, just slightly, and when Danny finally glances back down at his monitor, Martin lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"The DMV sent over those traffic light photos. Tell me I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's our guy," Danny says, thrill of triumph in his tone and Martin finds himself smiling.

It lasts only a moment, just until he catches Danny grinning back at him and then Martin's smile vanishes. It's replaced by awkward silence, lasting a single heartbeat before Danny's hand lands on his arm.

"It's okay, you know," Danny says, and Martin knows he's not talking about work.

It makes the situation that much stranger, because he's not certain why Danny feels the need to reassure him. He almost thinks Danny might think he's freaking out. Except he's not, he's just being reasonable, practical, maybe even a little cautious. And he should be, they've both got a lot to lose here and surely Danny can see that.

"Yeah," Martin responds, abruptly pulling his hand away and retreating back to his desk.

He doesn't bother turning around to see if Danny's watching him go.

~*~

Three days.

Three fucking days and Danny hasn't once brought up that night. Hasn't once touched Martin or smiled at Martin or given any indication that anything happened between them. Martin expected to have to spend the week making excuses, but nothing's changed. It's almost like Danny's completely comfortable falling right back into a professional relationship and forgetting their transgression happened at all.

If only it was that easy.

And Martin wants to forget about it. He wants to close his eyes and not see Danny's body sliding against his own. He wants to open his mouth and not taste the salt of Danny's come. He wants to unclench his fists and not feel the silk of Danny's skin. Mostly he just wants to stop wondering what it would be like to do again.

It's starting to drive him crazy, so much so, Jack's even called him on his lack of concentration. He feels like everyone's staring, eyes boring into the back of his skull until he can't think for it. He's not even sleeping at nights; too busy remember the feel of Danny's sheets and fighting against the urge to jerk off to the image of Danny above him.

It's ridiculous, is what it is, because this is what he wanted and he knows he shouldn't be stressing over the fact that Danny doesn't seem to care. He doesn't want Danny to care. He just wants things to go back to the way they were before all this happened. Except things are exactly the way they were and he hates it.

~*~

He came damn close to kissing Danny today.

Too close for comfort, anyway, and Martin has a feeling it would have happened if Danny hadn't backed off. He doesn't get it. Doesn't get himself and he certainly doesn't get Danny and whatever this is they're doing. Danny laughed it off. Turned it all into some kind of joke about adrenalin and the thrill of taking down a suspect and Martin hates him for it.

Mostly he hates himself for still wanting Danny.

They haven't talked about it, but he's starting to get the feeling Danny's already given up on him. Hell, he probably gave up the second Martin refused his coffee and it doesn't matter because it's still a bad idea. Any minute now Martin's going to convince himself that he doesn't want anything from Danny aside from a good working relationship. And that is what he wants. Most of the time.

"You did good out there today," Danny comments, his sudden presence very nearly giving Martin a heart attack.

"Thanks, you too," Martin replies, biting his lip to keep from saying anything else.

Part of him wants to have it out, get everything out into the open so that he'll at least know where he stands. Except by the time he reasons out what he wants to say, Danny's already disappearing behind the elevator doors.

~*~

It's taken him nearly two weeks, but he finally reasoned it out. What he wants from Danny and what Danny wants from him. He's managed to convince himself it was just a one time thing, never to be repeated and he's come to accept that it's better for everyone involved. They still make a great team, despite the occasional hint of tension between them. And Danny's stopped touching and stopped flirting and stopped staring, so really, it was probably a good idea to get it out of their systems. Now they can move on with their lives, no longer worrying about obsessing over the maybes or what ifs and, in the end, it'll probably even make them better partners.

Which is exactly why Martin's spent the last hour watching Danny hit on some woman at the bar.

He's not jealous. He's not, because their relationship is purely professional and it's hardly his business who Danny chooses to go out with it. And just because her hair's a little too blonde or her nose is a little too upturned doesn't mean Martin has anything but Danny's best interest at heart. Because Danny deserves better, much better --hell he could do better without even trying and Martin still can't figure out what he sees in her.

"Martin, are you even listening?"

It takes him a moment to realize the entire table's watching him. Vivian giving him that amused smile while Sam's trying very hard not to laugh. Jack's just scowling, but Martin can't tell if it's his, I know what's going on scowl, or his, I don't want to be here scowl. Either way the pressure of three sets of eyes watching him makes him wish the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

It doesn't happen, and by the time they look away long enough for him to glance back at the bar, Danny's gone. He knew he shouldn't have agreed to join the team for a drink after work.

~*~

He still doesn't know why he did it.

One minute he was staring at an empty bar, the next he was heading out the door, leaving his coworkers behind without so much as a word. He doesn't even know where Danny's going or how he's getting there. Cab, probably, but Martin's faster than any cab and he knows the route to Danny's apartment almost by heart. He should probably find that alarming, seeing as he's only been there once, but he doesn't and when he finds himself parking across the street from Danny's building, he can't even find the will to care.

Danny's not here either, which means he's either inside and Martin's too late or he's gone back to the woman's house and Martin will never find them. He's halfway to pulling out his cell phone when a cab pulls up, Danny climbing out and offering a hand to his 'guest'. And okay, maybe Martin is jealous, because the sight of Danny touching someone else is enough to start him moving. Straight across the street until he's blocking Danny's path and when Danny finally notices him, Martin can't help but smile.

"Martin? What are you doing here?" Danny asks, but he drops the woman's hand and Martin feels just a little vindicated.

"We need to talk," Martin replies, practically glaring at the woman and if he wasn't so pissed, he'd probably feel sorry for her.

"Now?" Danny asks, looking slightly perplexed.

"Now," Martin confirms, watching Danny shake his head before turning back to his date.

He can't hear them, but he knows she's pissed. It's pretty obvious when Danny tries to hand her cab money, only to have it thrown back into his face. Martin does his best not to smile as she storms off down the street. By the time she disappears around the corner, Danny's standing in front of him, looking somewhat amused and entirely pissed.

"This had better be good," Danny comments, his expression demanding an explanation and Martin still doesn't have one.

In truth, he didn't really think this far ahead. Didn't have a plan or even a clue how to go about doing whatever it is he wants to do and Danny's still standing there. Still staring at Martin and Martin can practically feel the seconds ticking by. One after another until Danny sighs, shaking his head and turning back to his apartment.

"I give up with you," Danny finally says, half over his shoulder and Martin's not certain he was meant to hear.

Except he did and before he can stop himself, Martin's moving forward, catching Danny at the front door and spinning him until he's trapped against the entranceway. He still doesn't have this planned out. Still doesn't know what he wants or what he's supposed to do. Apparently his body does, though, because before he can register what's happening, he's sinking to his knees, breathing in the scent of cold night air and something distinctly Danny.

He half expects Danny to protest, but Danny just stands there, arms folded across his chest, staring down at Martin with one raised eyebrow. He looks the picture of perfect calm, but Martin can feel the tension in his body --he's practically radiating it, so much so, Martin's surprised he isn't trembling.

When Martin does lean forward, breathing hot against the front of Danny's dress pants, Danny does tremble, shivering slightly before getting control of himself and dropping his hands to his sides. Martin knows what's coming. Knows Danny's going to push him aside and tell him to go home. Martin doesn't let him, closing the distance between them before Danny has a chance to move and burying his nose in Danny's crotch.

That gets him the reaction he was looking for, Danny's hands falling back against the wall, fingers clenching into tight fists and Martin smiles before turning. Nuzzling a little deeper, a little closer and when he opens his mouth, pressing his lips to the stiff fabric of Danny's pants, Danny shudders and relaxes his hands enough to press them against the wall.

Martin thinks they should probably take this inside before they get caught, but he's been waiting for this. Wanting this for longer than he realized and before he can talk himself out of it, he's pressing a little closer, mouth a perfect 'o' against the front of Danny's pants. He knows Danny can feel his breath, even through all the layers of clothing, but Martin still breathes deeper, blowing a little hotter as his tongue darts out to follow the seam of Danny's zipper.

That earns him a groan, along with a buck and Martin smiles before pulling away. His fingers are shaking and it takes him several tries to finally work open Danny's zipper, several more to slide his hand inside, pulling Danny free before finally glancing up and making eye contact.

Danny's watching him. Staring at him with dark, glazed eyes and the sight takes Martin's breath away. He holds Danny's gaze for a moment, just until the intensity of it becomes too much to bear. Only then does he turn back to the hard cock in his hand, running his thumb in circles around its base.

Their first time was rushed and frantic, neither of them taking the time to learn one another, the time to just look. Martin can't help but look now, taking in the deep flush of purple, the long line of vein and the tiny pearl of precome lining Danny's slit. He moves his hand up, tracing his thumb along the vein, over Danny's head to slide through sticky dampness. Danny growls; a low, vibrating noise in the back of his throat as Martin pulls his hand away, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste.

And Danny still tastes like Danny, that flavour that Martin's spent more nights than he can count trying to forget. Danny's watching him, staring down like he half expects Martin to disappear. Martin smiles, something close to apology before leaning over, retracing the path of his thumb with his tongue and when he finally closes his mouth around Danny's head, he hears Danny's head hit the wall and something that sounds suspiciously like his name falling from Danny's lips.

He feels like the entire moment is playing out in slow motion, every sensation magnified and Martin suddenly realizes once will never be enough. Twice will never be enough and he's starting to realize just how in over his head he is. And he still wants it, craves it until he's shaking from it, his body humming with the hysteria of fever. He forces himself to concentrate on the weight of Danny against his tongue, the bitter tang of precome as it slides down his throat.

He can hear Danny's sharp intake of breath. Hear the sound of Danny's fingernails scrapping against the wall behind him. Smell the light scent of Danny's cologne, the shampoo he used that morning and the underlying scent of musk and sex and male. He can taste the salt of Danny's skin, everything bleeding together until it nearly overwhelms him. His eyes drift shut as he sinks a little lower, taking Danny as deep as he can, relishing in the feel of Danny writhing beneath him.

One hand is pressed against Danny's hip, holding him firm against the wall. The other is still wrapped around Danny's base, squeezing softly in time to his breathing. Eventually he manages to let go, traveling back to cup Danny's balls, fingers sliding behind, pressing against the taut bit of skin just before Danny's opening.

Danny's legs splay open, the fabric of his pants pulling tight, trapping him between Martin, his clothes and the wall. It takes some doing, but eventually Martin manages to get Danny to relax long enough to close his legs, letting Martin slide his pants and boxers down below his knees. It's nowhere near enough, but it's better than it was, so Martin doesn't complain.

Right on cue Danny's legs fall open again, giving Martin room, his back arching until only his shoulders remain pressed against the wall. Martin slides two fingers into his mouth, pressing against the side of Danny's cock, earning a buck and a groan. He pulls his fingers free with a pop, tips glistening in the light from the streetlamp. He takes Danny a little deeper as his fingers snake between Danny's legs, pushing past his balls until Martin finds the tight ring of muscles at Danny's entrance. He doesn't give Danny any warning before pushing inside, as deep as he can and when Danny cries out, Martin smiles around his length.

Danny doesn't seem to mind, though, his cry fading to a whimper, words like God and please and Martin falling from his lips. Danny arches back even further; so far Martin's half afraid Danny might actually snap his spine in two. It doesn't happen, though, and when Martin crooks a finger, Danny curses something that Martin suspects might be in Spanish before bucking forward, spilling warmth into Martin's mouth.

For a moment, neither of them moves, silence invading the space between them until Danny eventually collapses against the wall, his cock slipping from Martin's mouth in the process. Martin turns his head, spitting over his shoulder before hazarding a glance up, taking in the sight of Danny's eyelashes pressed against his cheeks.

The silence stretches on, leaving Martin feeling awkward and uncertain. He's halfway to panicking when Danny's eyes drift open, a sleepy smile settling onto his face as he blinks down at Martin. Martin tenses, half expecting Danny to pull away, head inside and leave Martin to go home alone. Slowly, not wanting to break the relative calm, Martin rises to his feet, shifting a little before reaching forward, tucking Danny away and earning an even brighter smile.

Danny still hasn't said anything, but when Martin refastens his top button, letting his hands fall gracelessly back to his sides, Danny reaches forward, grabbing Martin's shirt and pulling until their pressed together, his tongue sliding into Martin's mouth to taste himself on Martin's tongue.

"I'm going to invite you in," Danny mumbles around Martin's lips. "But on two conditions," he continues, pulling away long enough to make eye contact.

"And those are?" Martin asks once he catches his breath, pressing his forehead to Danny's to keep from falling over.

"One, you stay the night. And two, tomorrow you bring me coffee," Danny replies, smiling before inching forward, brushing their lips together.

"I think I can live with that," Martin responds, relief hitting him hard and he finds himself grinning, pulling back to stare into Danny's eyes.

His words earn a genuine smile this time, along with the feel of Danny's hand sliding against his own, pulling softly as Danny leads him through the front doors and into his building.


End file.
